11.24.09YES!!!!! YES. YES. YES. YES. 11.20.09I only have McDonald's maybe once every two or three months... What's that weird phlegm that appears in your throat for about 15 minutes after? Are those the souls of all the animals you just raped crying one last echo into the world? Every time. 11.08.09Dear Hannah, I like infinitely more filmmakers than just the hipsters du jour. You basically just wrote an Onion article about Uptown and assholes that are excited to make you notice their fixed-gear bikes. I am OFFENDED. But the gloves are off!! November 8th, 2009 Dearest Thoughts, I fell asleep at my computer again. HK 11.07.09Wow. Michael's blog entry is both heavy and poetic, and has certainly curbed my desire to replace my scratched up Siamese Dream CD anytime soon. But plagerism will not be tolerated, sir! Please, Michael, whenever you feel regret in your heart, remember this. Now that Micahel has inspired me to blog again, we should all turn our attention toward the fact that Hannah is not blogging. So, as a gift, I will blog as Hannah for the next few days or weeks. You're welcome in advance. November 7th, 2009. Dearest Thoughts, I awoke late today as I stayed up 'til the wee hours of last eve watching a VHS tape about a short-haired woman who's car breaks down somewhere in New Zealand and a murderous man is unexplicably out to get her. After a very high blood-splattered body count she bests her persuer with a garden hoe and guption. I found it titillating and profound as the subtext obviously spoke to woman's constant struggle against men in coats as well as the oppressive kiwi condidtions of our wombs. Rating: B. HK 09.11.09The first major road trip of any improv troupe is bound to reveal certain truths about it's various members. This past week's trip (and back) to Austin, TX revealed dozens upon dozens of such truths to each of us... but I shall only allude to one here. And I will remain vague as to protect the innocent and bewilder the curious... Snoring. Captiol "S".
08.09.09We're at IAGG tonight if you wanna come see us. We haven't rehearsed for quite some time and haven't performed for even longer... Michael refuses to rehearse because he's starting to believe all this "local legend" bullshit people throw at him all the time. I'm always like, "Michael and Hannah, we have to put the work in!!" Hannah tells me to fuck off and turns her attention to YouTube provided Bristish comedy. Those arrogant assholes better not fuck my super important career up. 07.25.09I also update the news section. So it's like I've blogged recently. 04.24.09Hi, everyone! I'm sorry I've been quiet the last few days. Michael and Hannah promised they'd hold down the fort and keep you guys company while I was gone. Let's all look to our left and see how they did, shall we? Gross. I'd like to do a little experiment. Not so much a pass/fail test, but more a, "Hello?" test to find out if people are actually visiting. It's simple, the first person to e-mail me at splendidthingsimprov@ gmail.com gets a free ticket to Monday's show with the Gay/Straight Alliance. It's that easy. The offer expires Monday 4/27 at noon. I love you all. And remember who actually visits you. 04.16.09Passive-agression works in Minnesota, dammit! I start bitching about how Hannah and Michael don't write blog stuff (because they hate you) on my blog, and sure enough, they decide to post some stuff soon after. I guess they couldn't handle the fact that I'm everyone's favorite Splendid Thing. Good luck catching up in the polls you book-reading butts. I just realized that in both the latest News update and on today's Facebook Event Invite (which I wrote this week), I used the phrase, "graced with the presence of... " when describing who our guests will be/have been. Some might say I'm a foolish boob with a limited vocabulary, and normally I would tend to agree. But then I think this to myself - Ferarri McSpeedy, Five Man Job, Gay/Straight Alliance, HUGE Theater, The Mustache Rangers and Hellendrung, Scott & Associates... These have been our guests so far. I get to say whatever the hell I want to. 04.08.09I think phase one of "Project Kicking Eric Out of the Group" is that neither of them will update their blogs. Look at Michael's - it's been nearly a month. They also both talk about books a lot. I mean, is that a joke? Books? What, do we live with our parents? Who are they trying to impress?! That was a lot of questions - sorry. It's okay though, I have smarts and plans. I was at Lauren Anderson's birthday party last night for the sole purpose of networking my ass off. I think I got invited into at least 14 other improv troupes, and all Michael and Hannah got was sleep. What a couple assholes. Or should I say BOOK assholes - right? 04.03.09I think Hannah and Michael are going to kick me out of the group. I see them conversing - openly, yes - but conversing using words I don't understand, and making literary references that are out of my league. More to come... 03.17.09
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